'VE VILL SHOOT ZEM ONLY ONCE'

GERMAN television is to show the wartime sitcom Allo, Allo with its raft of comedy catchphrases including: "I will say zis only once: round up all ze men in the village, and machine gun zem into a ditch."

Allo Allo's loveable, accident-prone Nazis

Set in occupied France, the much-loved cast included café owner Rene Artois and the hugely popular Jean Marie de France, the collaborationist mayor best known for his catchphrase: "Get in the train, Jew".

Other popular characters included the lovable Waffen SS commander Colonel "I was only obeying orders" Von Strohm, and the sexy waitress Yvette, who would sleep with any German soldier for a bar of soap and a cigarette.

Their slapstick adventures revolved around attempts to conceal a priceless painting called The Blonde Haired Madonna with the Proud, Aryan Boobies.

One of the best loved episodes involved Rene denouncing his rival café owner as a member of the Resistance after an argument over the best brand of pastis, leading to a summary trial and execution in the town square.

Betina Bunge, of the German TV station 1000-3R, said: "Too often German officers are portrayed as sadistic maniacs, when in fact most of them were harmless, effeminate bozos, who enjoyed a nice glass of Chablis."

She added: "The invasion of France was a happy time for many German soldiers, especially those who hated the sound of enemy gunfire."

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