the dailymash

Thompson apologised to licence payers after an internal investigation found that editors and producers had been making everything up for at least three years.

The admission comes after a BBC documentary about the Queen was exposed as a fake. The producers were denied access to the monarch and instead used a 65 year-old man dressed in a Barbour jacket and a tiara.

Because of budget cuts, said Thompson, BBC cookery programmes have been unable to use real food since 2005 and were instead using ingredients made from mashed-up leaves.

Thompson also revealed that Jonathon Ross, the BBC's highest paid entertainer, was nothing more than a "jumped-up researcher with a dirty mouth".

Meanwhile BBC news will be overhauled after veteran newsreader Peter Sissons was found to be broadcasting his own fictional bulletins, scribbled down hastily at a curry house in Shepherd's Bush.

A BBC insider said: "It all stared with the Andrew Gilligan story about the Iraq dossier. We took such a pounding over something which was substantially true that we thought, 'fuck this for a game of soldiers, let's just make it all up'."


EXPOSING THOSE BBC LIES IN FULL:

• Britain is NOT being taken over by Moroccans

• Your fridge is NOT full of wasps

• The Queen did NOT ask Gordon Brown to stop staring at her chest

• Children in Need IS a front for selling prescription painkillers