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CHIMP TO DIRECT SHERLOCK HOLMES SEQUEL |
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26-01-10 |
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AN EIGHT-year old chimp named Boko will direct the follow-up to Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes after his debut was rated as more coherent than Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels.
 Boko is looking forward to jumping onto Jude Law's back and pulling his hair out
Zookeeper Charlie Reeves said: "Boko has always been the dominant male in the group and when Jude Law visited the zoo last year he couldn't wait to fling shit at him.
"He's never shown any great interest in cinema, apart from that time he masturbated at Judi Dench, but on the plus side he's never shown an almost obsessively homoerotic fixation with East London gangsters."
Boko has already started work on the Holmes sequel, provisionally titled Ooo-ook-ah-AH-AH!. The film revolves around a set of banana thieves terrorising Victorian London and features a departure from the Conan Doyle stories as Dr Watson spends half the film sniffing Holmes' anus.
But one meerkat has already labelled Boko a control freak and claims he offered her a part in Ooo-ook-ah-AH-AH! in exchange for sexual favours.
Nikki Hollis, from Chessington, said: "He told me he could make me a star but first he needed to see me with my fur off.”
“When I told him I wasn't that kind of meerkat, he screamed that I'd end up doing freaky Danish porn, did several backflips and started rolling around in his own muck.
"I haven't seen anything like it since I worked on Animal Park with Ben Fogle."
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