DEPRIVED CHILDREN HAD NOT PAID LICENCE FEE, SAYS BBC

THE BBC kept £100,000 it had raised for deprived children after discovering none of them had paid their licence fee, the Corporation said last night.

It's all in the database, you freeloading brats

BBC bosses are demanding an on-screen apology from the children, and warning that if they do not buy a licence immediately they will pass their details to the police.

Mark Thompson, BBC director general, said: "Over the years we’ve raised millions for these kids, minus the usual handling fees, bank charges, agent’s commission, and VAT - and this is how they repay us.

"Do they ever write and say thank-you? Yes, actually a lot of them do, and it’s very useful as we can check all the addresses against our records.

"We knock on the door, the parents deny having a telly, and then we show them little Johnny’s letter about how much he loves watching Shenzo Super Bang-Bang Squad on Cbeebies. It's cuffs on and down the nick."

Gemma Harding, a poor child with leukaemia, said: "I don’t blame the BBC for going after these children. The new series of Strictly Come Dancing on Ice must take priority."

A BBC spokesman said the money would now be used to buy Jonathan Ross a new leopard.

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