EVERYONE PRETENDING TO HAVE READ THE GULAG ARCHIPELAGO

A RECORD number of people were last night claiming to have read The Gulag Archipelago by Alexander Solzhenitsyn.

The 1981 film version starring Michael Caine and Pele

Following the death of the Russian literary giant, an estimated 22 million people across the UK said 'Gulag' was a brilliant book which they had read at university.

Tom Logan, an advertising copywriter, said: "I loved that bit with the tiger. You know when it comes into the archipelago and starts eating all the sheep?

"But all the children really love it and they try and tame it but it eats them too and it's totally symbolic of Stalin and stuff."

Emma Hartley, a solicitor, added: "Yeah the bit with the tiger is good, but what about the bit with the football match?

"They're all trying to escape from the archipelago so they challenge the Germans to this big match.

"Luckily they've got loads of international players on their team, but they have to put this big, stupid American in goals because he's really important to the war effort.

"Anyway, the big American saves a penalty right at the end and the fans all rush onto the pitch and the team escapes by mingling in with the crowd. Nobel Prize? Thank you very much."

Meanwhile Russian prime minister Vladimir Putin last night issued a statement saying he was 70-80% sure he had nothing to do with Solzhenitsyn's death.

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