No-One Buying Horseshit Excuse For Final Harry Potter Films
CLAIMS that it would be impossible to cram the 608-page Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows into just one film were last night believed by absolutely no-one.
Tom Booker, head of project development at Warner Brothers, said: "This is a book filled with stunning pronouns, dazzling prepositions and world class punctuation.
"If we could, we'd make it into 12 films, each lasting 90 minutes, released three at a time, followed by a huge collector's edition DVD boxed-set that comes with a free hat. Just so we can remain true to JK's literary vision."
But 11 year-old Nathan Muir from Watford said: "Bollocks. They just want to make twice as much money."
He added: "I may only be 11 but that doesn't mean I'm a fucking moron."
Thirteen year-old Molly Gilmore, from Chester, added: "You bunch of greedy bastards. I don't mind going to see two films - it's not like I've got a job - but please don't take me for a twat."
Meanwhile Roy Hobbs, editor of Filmings magazine, said: "Alexandre Dumas' The Count of Monte Cristo is 928 pages long and yet the film verision somehow manged to come in at just over an hour and a half.
"Obviously I mean the proper version with Richard Chamberlain and Tony Curtis, not that stinking bag of mince with the transvestite chap from Neighbours."
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