Sky Unveils New Method For Mingling Sub-Standard Genetic Material

07-08-08

CILLA BLACK, the nation's matchmaker, is to return to our screens with a radical new format for the co-mingling of sub-standard genetic material.

'Same question to no. 3 - do I get fuck you?'

Five years after quitting Blind Date live on air, the veteran presenter has been tempted back by Sky One to help manufacture the next generation of drug-addled maniacs.

Her new show Loveland will follow a similar format to the original in matching retards and encouraging them to exchange their inferior juices.

But while the Blind Date contestants were separated by a screen, this time they will each hide behind a desk and converse with each other using foul-mouthed glove puppets.

Producer Julian Cook said: "Cilla remains the undisputed queen of underclass rutting.

"Loveland will not only cause millions of fat women to cackle but will help to unleash the dangerous semen of dozens of mentally defective simians."

Cilla said: "Loveland captivated me with its marriage of the traditional mating show and its innovative approach to genetic engineering.

"Won't it be fantastic if one of our lovely couples turns out to be brother and sister?"