the dailymash

From Islington to Primrose Hill people who think they are better than you because you enjoyed The Da Vinci Code will be sneering at his new book in a bid to raise money for George Monbiot's psychiatrist.

Cafes and galleries will host a series of events including the popular North London parlour game 'I Sat Next to a Dan Brown Fan at a Dinner Party and This is What He Said'.

There will also be discussion groups where Guardian readers who say they want to write a novel but won't because they can't will talk about how Brown's success is killing literature by encouraging millions of people to read books that are not about spies or fucking.

Event director Tom Logan said: "We'll have a contest to see who can read from The Lost Symbol the longest without bursting out laughing.

"We'll also have a panel of academics dismissing Dan Brown's theories about symbolism in art as slightly debatable and then we'll play a game where someone reads out a paragraph from one of his novels and you have to guess which words were in italics."

The organisers have also laid on a creche and a soft play area with freshly pressed apple juice, carrot slices and hourly readings from the Guardian bookclub bestseller A Child's Guide to Sneering at Popular Culture.

Stephen Malley, a Guardian reader from Highgate, said: "All he does is write books where lots of things happen. Novels should be a series of stilted conversations and semi-internalised dream sequences that reveal a series of interwoven themes about the need to rebalance globalisation in favour of the developing world."

Emma Bradford, from Clerkenwell, added: "I actually enjoyed The Da Vinci Code but of course it was in much the same way as one would enjoy a Constable painting or a Steven Spielberg film or a Cornish pastie.

"Covered in HP sauce."