Adults order children to be sad about Daleks

31-05-11

CHILDREN across Britain were today told to be all sad about the Daleks.

Children stopped being frightened by Daleks in 1964

As the BBC announced the veteran Dr Who villains would be ‘rested for a while’ adult fans of the show over-reacted quickly and angrily.

Millions of adults have insisted children must treat the sidelining of the Daleks like the loss of a beloved pet that had been brutally strangled by the BBC.

And they have told their own children, their nieces and nephews and the children of their friends to sign their names at the bottom of a rambling, foul-mouthed letter they have composed to Dr Who producer Stephen Moffat.

Whovianist, Roy Hobbs, said: “Moffat needs to think about what he is doing to the new generation of fans who have been watching it since 1976.

“My nephew recently spent £12,000 on a mint condition Davros action figure that I have kindly allowed him to keep in my tall, slim, blue garden shed.”

But children said they were glad to see the back of the Daleks because they were rubbish for obvious reasons.

Kyle Stephenson, a nine year-old from Berwick Upon Tweed, said: “I have been watching television for a while now and my tastes have matured to the point where I prefer baddies that do not provoke a litany of incredibly obvious questions.

“I applaud the BBC for finally taking the elephant in the room by the scruff of the neck.

“Just because my friends and I are unengaged by academia does not mean we are the sort of gap-toothed cretins who are frightened by shopping trolleys.”

He added: “I’m also mature enough to recognise that my Uncle Roy needs, at the very least, to go to a prostitute.”

 

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