BBC2 replaced by squirrel with huge genitals

THE BBC is to replace much of its programming with footage of a strikingly well-endowed squirrel, it has been announced.

His dislikes include terriers

Director general Mark Thompson’s statement came just days after the rodent captivated viewers of BBC2’s The Great British Bake-Off with a lingering display of its disproportionately large reproductive organs.

Thompson said: “Balancing audience feedback with financial constraints, we have decided to give over BBC2’s entire schedule, plus 12 per cent of BBC1’s, to the creature known as Large Penis Squirrel.”

BBC2 viewer Tom Logan said: “Much as I enjoy Horizon’s incisive coverage of topical scientific events, and Newnight’s stimulating discourse, I also find unusually large rodent sex organs hilarious.

“Particularly when the animal is just sitting there, chewing nonchalantly, because it doesn’t even realise that its penis and testicles are bigger than its head.

“That is funny. You can say it isn’t, but it is.”

Large Penis Squirrel’s agent Nikki Hollis said: “There’s much more to Large Penis Squirrel than meets the eye, although admittedly you don’t really get that from the name.

“He grew up in a tree and when he was four his brother got shot with an air gun.”