Hipster coffee shop worker fired for playing Lighthouse Family

15-02-17

A BARISTA at a fashionable urban cafe has been sacked for playing The Lighthouse Family.

Patrons of the Unbearable Lightness of Bean coffee shop heard almost two and a half minutes of 1996 pop-soul hit Lifted after barista Stephen Malley found it on Spotify.

Shift manager Mary Fisher said: “I spoke to him about this last week when he tried to play that Simply Red live album.

“This isn’t fucking Costa, and even Costa would probably have a bit of Moloko or some deep house remix of Katy Perry.

“Our music policy is ‘whatever makes you smile’, but obviously that means minimal techno, post-punk and glitchcore.” 

Malley said: “Maybe I’m just working on a deeper layer of irony that my boss. Or maybe I just like the Lighthouse Family and also happen to think Lisa Stansfield is very underrated.”

The Lighthouse Family were recently considered by the hipster high council for a semi-ironic revival, but were passed over in favour of Galliano.

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