New Bond film to involve large amounts of paperwork
THE new Bond film will feature unprecedented levels of admin, according to its makers.
Skyfall will follow James Bond as he looks to broaden his CV with experience in line management and budget-setting for the Met Office.
Director Sam Mendes, who denied the new bureaucracy-heavy direction was influenced by a reduced production budget, said: “The story opens with M stopping Bond from publishing figures for the annual mean rainfall for Carlisle.
“He goes rogue and releases the data at a meteorology convention in Penge, with departmentally explosive results.”
“I don’t want to reveal too much of the plot but I’ll just say two words – ‘disciplinary’ and ‘hearing’.”
Star Daniel Craig has completed a punishing six-month regime of measuring average precipitation – then collating the data into a detailed report – in preparation for the highly bureaucratic thriller.
Other possible indications of cost savings are the replacement of the iconic Aston Martin with a 2002 Ford Focus pool car for which the former spy has a petrol card, and the announcement of Michaela Strachan as the film’s key love interest.
Q will still provide gadgets to help Bond complete his mission, but fans may be disappointed to learn that one of them is a back support for his swivel chair.
Daniel Craig said “I’m going to be spending the next four months pretending to look at Powerpoint presentations and frowning a lot.
“It’s far more authentic and gritty than any of that camp old Bond nonsense like shagging supermodels in zero gravity, I think audiences will appreciate that.”