Oasis Change Name To Noelgallagher
POP group Oasis will stage a comeback later this year under the new name of Noelgallagher, it emerged last night.
Sources close to the Manchester band said the music will sound the same in every conceivable way, but with a slightly deeper and less annoying voice.
Music critic Tom Logan said: "The great thing about them, as a band, is the way Noel writes every note and every word and then tells some people who are basically glorified session musicians exactly what to do.
"Let's hope that changing their name to Noelgallagher won't affect that."
Logan added: "It will be interesting to hear how they sound without that voice that's fine for about 10 to 15 minutes before you feel the surging desire to find out where he lives and pour a jug of quick-drying plaster down his throat."
Wayne Hayes, an Oasis fan since 1994, said: "I'll miss the fact that Noel Gallagher and his employees are not called Oasis anymore.
"Hopefully changing their name doesn't mean they will be changing their music, because I really like the Stone Roses."
Emma Bradford, from Peterborough said: "It won't be the same without the randomly selected bass player, the other guitarist, the session drummer and the singer who you always secretly hoped wouldn't turn up so that Noel could sing instead."
And almost-Oasis fan Roy Hobbs added: "My favourite song is the one about Sally being kept waiting, because when you listen to it you can imagine, just for a few minutes, that Liam Gallagher doesn't exist.
"And that makes me happy."