Arts & Entertainment

Hay Wain Arrested In Naked Horse Furore

CONSTABLE'S masterpiece The Hay Wain has been arrested in central London amid claims of nude horse exploitation.

BBC2 Unveils Plans For 'Nigella Lawson Eats A Banana'

TV food fans were celebrating last night after the BBC confirmed plans for a new series of Nigella Lawson Eats a Banana.

Sky Unveils Plans For 'Oil Relief' Day

SKY television is to devote an entire day of programming to the growing threats faced by the international oil industry.

RMT Using Tube Tunnels To Rehearse 'The Mikado'

LONDON tube drivers are using strike action as a cover so they can stage last-minute rehearsals of their new production of The Mikado.

Amy Winehouse A Honking Skank, Says Gran

AMY Winehouse fans should stop buying her records because she is a croaky voiced skank who sounds like a goose being forced arse first into a trombone, her grandmother said last night.

Big Brother Housemates Rise To Over 200

SIXTY-FIVE new housemates, including a platoon of Gurkhas, were introduced into Big Brother last night, swelling numbers in the show for its tense final week to over 200.

Poster Reveals Unremitting Shitness Of New Robin Williams Movie

JUST looking at the poster for License to Wed, a new comedy starring Robin Williams, reveals the film's catastrophic shitness, it was claimed last night.

Computer Game Fan No Time To Masturbate

TOP World of Warcraft player Jason Stibbles could be forced to give up masturbation altogether after the hugely popular online game unveiled its new expansion called Wrath of the Lich King.