Arts & Entertainment

Luther moody because of haemorrhoids

TV COP Luther is moody and dangerous because his piles are giving him terrible grief, it has been revealed.

Pop music now aimed at middle-aged male perverts

40-PLUS male perverts are the target demographic for modern pop music, it has emerged.

Old Terminator needs constant reboots

A NEW Terminator movie will star Arnold Schwarzenegger as an outdated robot assassin plagued by frustrating software problems.

Weirdo bombarding Disney with Star Wars ideas actually George Lucas

THE 'mentally ill' man sending hundreds of bizarre Star Wars ideas to Disney is actually George Lucas, it has emerged.

Tramps can't afford Springsteen tickets

BRITAIN'S tramps are in uproar after being priced out of Bruce Springsteen's current tour.

Everyone at Glastonbury wishing they were dead

GLASTONBURY optimism and pursuit of ‘the vibe’ has been replaced with dead-eyed ennui, it has been confirmed.

Amazon offers great new way to complicate your life

AMAZON has unveiled a new service designed specifically to distress pensioners and the technically inept.

Neighbourhood Watch uses spy plane to find out who watches foreign films

A NEIGHBOURHOOD Watch group is using an unmanned drone to spy on local residents’ viewing habits.