Arts & Entertainment

Hull pledges a 'shitload' of culture

THE city of Hull last night pledged to show Britain what culture really is, especially if you are into magicians.

'The Abba Murders' to be pinnacle of Scandinavian pop culture

A BLEAK crime drama starring Abba will be the ultimate event in Scandinavian popular culture, it has been claimed.

Hundreds of lost indie bands found in Camden Lock

MORE than 300 indie bands have been discovered in Camden Lock after it was drained for repairs.

Francis Bacon paintings bought for back bedroom

FRANCIS Bacon artwork sold for a record £89.6 million will be the centrepiece of a newly redecorated guest bedroom.

Scientists banned from watching Gravity

SCIENTISTS have been banned from watching the film Gravity because they kept ruining it for normal people.

Boy bands physically merge

EVERY boyband of the 80s, 90s and 00s has merged into a hideous oozing blob.

Jamie Oliver tackles Death Row meals

TV CHEF Jamie Oliver is to make Death Row prisoners' last meals healthier and more nutritious.

Flora kid grows up to be serial killer

THE young protagonist of the current Flora TV advert becomes a killer after seeing his parents having sex.