Arts & Entertainment

Anything with a four-star review definitely shit, Edinburgh punters warned

EDINBURGH festival audiences have been warned to avoid anything that critics have tepidly praised with a four-star review.

Bake Off unveils sacrificial hipster

THE BBC has unveiled this year’s Bake Off hipster, who will meet with a terrible fate.

Theatre goers annoyed by man in audience watching 42-inch TV

WEST End theatre goers have complained after a man watched Apocalypse Now on a 42 inch plasma TV during a performance of Harold Pinter’s The Caretaker.

Bake Off gets spin-off series How Much Cake Can You Eat?

THE BBC’s popular baking show is to be followed in the schedules by a cake-eating competition.

Thanks Pixar, say little shits

EVIL children have thanked Pixar’s Inside Out for putting the blame on cartoon characters.

New Ant-Man film mainly about how dirty everything is

NEW superhero film Ant-Man  is about how absolutely filthy your house seems when you are only a few millimetres tall.

Trainspotting 2 to be junkie superhero film

THE sequel to Trainspotting will be a superhero film about a man who gets special powers from 'space heroin'.

Harper Lee's third book is racy technothriller

THE third manuscript by octogenarian Harper Lee is a fast-paced thriller about a heist on the Chinese stock exchange, it has emerged.