Arts & Entertainment

Men stay up all night to watch twat drive car

BRITAIN'S pathetically excited dads stayed up all night so they could watch Jeremy Clarkson drive a car.

Planet Earth II viewers demand legal system for animals

PLANET Earth II viewers have demanded that animals get their own criminal justice system to stop them doing horrible things.

Entire crowd at gig is ticket-buying bots

A BIFFY Clyro gig in Glasgow is expected to be the first entirely attended by online ticket-buying bots.

Leonard Cohen’s music perfect for feeling sad about Leonard Cohen

THE music of Leonard Cohen is perfect for fans feeling desolate and melancholic about his death, they have confirmed.

Trump swept to victory by fans of poor quality 80s action films

MEN who love the films of Chuck Norris and Steven Seagal are responsible for Trump’s election victory, it has emerged.

Football Manager 2017 to include dicking about on Football Manager 2016

THE new Football Manager allows players to spend downtime fiddling about on a slightly older football management simulator.

Bono unveils album about being a woman

BONO has released an album about his struggles as a woman.

First wave of Bake Off support groups established 

GREAT British Bake Off fans will be able to judge the Victoria sponges of strangers under new support schemes.