Arts & Entertainment

Game of Thrones to kill off several major fans

THE next season of Game of Thrones will see the death of some of the programme's biggest fans.

Jurassic World not accurate, says tedious little man

JURASSIC World’s portrayal of the Ankylosaurus, has been criticised by a dreary man.

Popular music goes into reverse

POP music has finished and will now be run backwards, with acid house due to return in 2042 and the Beatles reforming in 2060.

Middle-aged velociraptors remembering the Jurassic Park good times

THE release of Jurassic World has seen middle-aged bespectacled velociraptors reminiscing about starring in its predecessor.

Children told they will watch The Clangers and like it

PARENTS have ordered their children to love the new series of The Clangers or find somewhere else to live.

Londoners reveling in all the things they can’t afford to do this weekend

AVERAGE Londoners are excitedly looking forward to missing a host of cultural events in the capital.

Cowell’s Ultimate DJ attracts ultimate bellends

THE world’s biggest bellends are flocking to audition for Simon Cowell’s DJ talent show.

My work has a profound existentialist subtext, says BGT dog

THE performing dog that won Britain’s Got Talent has described how his work grapples with complex themes such as the illusory nature of reality.