Arts & Entertainment

Killer A.I. better than annoying android kid with emotions

DEADLY intelligent machines are preferable to ‘cute’ kid androids that bang on about not being real children, according to experts.

Star Wars VII will be mostly black screen and Andy Serkis voiceover

STAR Wars: The Force Awakens will be 33 per cent black screen with Andy Serkis intoning portentous statements.

U2 skips straight to reunion tour

U2 WILL skip an inevitable decade of falling sales, a split and solo albums by going directly to the long-awaited reunion tour, it has been announced.

Vinyl enthusiasts asked why they don’t just f**king marry it

MEN who love vinyl records have been told to just f**king marry them and live happily ever after.

Jurassic World tells story of enjoyable day out at safety-conscious dinosaur park

THE new Jurassic Park sequel features no peril because of improved health and safety at the dinosaur park.

Bale to return as Megabatman

FORMER Batman Christian Bale is to play a new self-devised superhero called Megabatman.

Average Masterchef contestant looks a decade older than they are

THE gruelling and horrible chef lifestyle has prematurely aged contestants on BBC Two’s Masterchef: The Professionals.

Man faces pretending to like Ride all over again

A MAN in his thirties has expressed dismay at having to pretend to like 90s shoegaze band Ride for the second time.