Arts & Entertainment

BBC confident it can find a new prick

THE BBC has confirmed that Top Gear will continue without Jeremy Clarkson as Britain is awash with boorish oafs.

Corden steps effortlessly into self-congratulating wankfest

JAMES Corden has enjoyed a smooth start to his new career helping film stars masturbate on live television.

Small town rock band definitely coolest thing to ever happen to small town

ROCK band, Saxwulf, are the coolest thing to ever happen to their hometown and anyone who says different is full of shit.

Kim and Kanye demand everyone at Glastonbury smells nice

KANYE West will perform at Glastonbury as long as the audience does not offend his wife’s sense of smell.

Bootleg Beatles split up by Bootleg Yoko

BRITAIN'S leading Beatles tribute band has split up after an encounter with Japan's foremost Yoko Ono impersonator.

Frozen 2 only way to stop Frozen

DISNEY has unveiled plans to stop children watching Frozen 24 hours a day by making Frozen 2.

No, Grim Reaper told

DEATH has been told it is not allowed to take Sir Terry Pratchett until an investigation is held.

Fantasy novel not part of a trilogy

THE fantasy-reading community has been left confused by a tale of noble houses, war and dragons that concludes in one volume.