Arts & Entertainment

New cafe allows man-children to return to the womb

A NEW cafe in Hackney allows customers to return to pre-birth conditions in special womb-like pods full of amniotic fluid.

New band to perform entire first album in full

A BAND has promised to perform its first, and so far only, album in full on an upcoming tour. 

New cookery show based on bringing in junk food

A NEW cooking show will see contestants compete by bringing in their favourite junk food.

Cumberbatch urges theatre goers to appreciate how very f**king special he is

BENEDICT Cumberbatch last night pleaded with London theatre goers to remember that he is so very fucking special.

Nightclubs closing as punters recreate hellish environment at home

FORMER clubbers are choosing to stay in and recreate the deeply unpleasant nightclub experience in their homes.

Dozens of elderly women arrested in Bake-Off betting scandal

DOZENS of elderly woman have been arrested after a flurry of bets on the same contestant in The Great British Bake-Off.

Anything with a four-star review definitely shit, Edinburgh punters warned

EDINBURGH festival audiences have been warned to avoid anything that critics have tepidly praised with a four-star review.

Bake Off unveils sacrificial hipster

THE BBC has unveiled this year’s Bake Off hipster, who will meet with a terrible fate.