Arts & Entertainment

'Sherlock baddie make me vote Labour'

EVERYONE in Britain has become left wing because of the baddie in Sherlock.

Pitbull 'just does worst bits of his songs'

RAPPER Pitbull has admitted he only ever performs the shittest bits of his records.

Celebrity Big Brother viewers unable to get clean

VIEWERS of Channel 5's Celebrity Big Brother have been scrubbing themselves all night but still feel dirty.

Gogglebox creates ‘infinity mirror’ of people watching themselves watching themselves

MILLIONS of people across Britain have set up cameras in their living rooms so they can film themselves watching themselves watching television.

Martin Amis to be a playable character in Mario Kart 8

NINTENDO'S forthcoming Mario Kart 8 is to include Martin Amis as an unlockable character.

Lawrence of Arabia inevitably getting heap of shit remake

CINEMA classic Lawrence of Arabia will inevitably get remade with Tom Cruise, Matt Damon or someone like that.

Kay Burley unveiled as new Pixies bassist

THE Pixies have recruited Sky News presenter Kay Burley as their new bassist.

Stolen Damien Hirst artworks 'easily replaced'

A PAINTER and decorator has offered to replace the two Damien Hirst artworks stolen from an art gallery.