Arts & Entertainment

Britney Spears completes abuse cycle by becoming X-Factor judge

POP legend Britney Spears has followed the pattern of an abused child becoming an abusive adult by becoming a judge on the American X-Factor.

Ghost Rider fans warned not to set their heads on fire

FANS of the character Ghost Rider have been warned to stop emulating their hero by setting their heads alight.

Adele promises to be dumped by Christmas

GRAMMY-magnet dinner party wailer Adele has vowed that her current boyfriend will soon be song-inspiringly awful to her.

Bafta glory for Optimus Prime

MASSIVE CGI robot Optimus Prime was the big winner at last night's Baftas, picking up Best Male Actor and Best Massive CGI Robot.

BBC4 named ponciest channel at National TV Awards

BBC4 was last night named Best Channel for Stuck-Up Ponces at the National Television Awards.

Furious entertainment industry promises year from hell

THE entertainment industry has responded to last week's internet blackout by vowing to make 2012 a new low in the history of entertainment.

BT couple's son to kill housemate with pitchfork

THE storyline of the latest BT adverts will follow the previous couple's son as he spirals into a pit of murderous drug-fuelled sexual obsession.

Eurovision songs mostly pleas for economic aid

EUROZONE nations are using this year's international song contest to ask for financial help to a thumping hi-NRG disco beat.