Arts & Entertainment
MILLIONS of people not at the Glastonbury Festival have started relishing the abject suffering of those who are.
THE studio which produced Godzilla and Mothra has purchased the character rights to Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann, it has emerged.
PRODUCERS of the Susan Boyle musical have promised it will be the perfect night out for a certain kind of person.
THE British Board of Film Classification was last night accused of driving unspeakable deviants to the fringes of UK society.
THE tricky boss at the end of level five of War on Terror has been killed by Americans, it emerged last night.
THOUSANDS of relieved men have expressed their gratitude after buying fraudulent Take That tickets.
A PANEL of Nobel laureates including VS Naipaul and Mohammed ElBaradei have discussed their most recent vomiting experiences before an enraptured audience at the Hay Festival.
CHILDREN across Britain were today told to be all sad about the Daleks.