Arts & Entertainment

Greek warriors abduct Samantha Brick

ANCIENT Greek warriors have stormed the Big Brother house after mistaking Samantha Brick for Helen of Troy.

John Motson's BBC contract extended by another 40 years

JOHN Motson has renewed his BBC contract until 2052, in line with the Corporation's policy to ensure everything remains exactly the same.

Harry photos ruined by old Spanish woman

TREASURED photographs of Prince Harry naked in Las Vegas have been ruined by an elderly Spanish woman.

Don't judge Pussy Riot until they've made first album, say critics

ROCK critics have urged the public to suspend judgment on Pussy Riot until they have proved themselves worthy of four or five star reviews.

Clarkson splits into two

JEREMY Clarkson has split into two separate entities - one sad, the other mocking.

Big Brother celebrities arrive, unaware that one of them is a murderer

THE new murder-themed series of Celebrity Big Brother began last night with the mysterious death of Julian Clary.

Street Fighter 'tainted' by Van Damme sex claims

JEAN-CLAUDE Van Damme’s claims of an affair with Kylie Minogue on the set of Street Fighter have sullied the classic film, according to fans.

45-year-old salesman apologises for closing ceremony

WAYNE Hayes, a middle-aged sales executive from Carlisle, has apologised for the Olympics closing ceremony beamed directly from his brain.