Arts & Entertainment

Secret Cinema victims treated for lack of perspective

THOUSANDS of middle class people are receiving emergency lack of perspective treatment following the cancellation of Secret Cinema.

Rare records mostly dreadful

SCARCE and highly collectable vinyl records are generally awful, it has emerged.

Fight Club 2 focuses on making club into viable business

THE SEQUEL to Fight Club is about the lengthy administrative process necessary to make the club legal and profitable.

Opening ceremony viewers question their sanity

THE Commonwealth Games opening ceremony has left viewers phoning friends to make sure they saw the same thing.

Katie Price announces remake of My Fair Lady

FORMER glamour model Katie Price is to write, direct and star in an updated version of My Fair Lady.

Rebooted Bond to be a shambling drunk

PRODUCERS have confirmed that the next Bond movie will feature him getting kicked out of Wetherspoons.

Leaked Doctor Who scripts reveal emphasis on monsters and space

THE new season of Doctor Who will involve space travel, monsters and chase sequences, leaked scripts have revealed.

Music charts to include songs that pop into your head

THE top 40 will take into account songs that pop into your head for no reason, it has been announced.