Arts & Entertainment

Kim and Kanye demand everyone at Glastonbury smells nice

KANYE West will perform at Glastonbury as long as the audience does not offend his wife’s sense of smell.

Bootleg Beatles split up by Bootleg Yoko

BRITAIN'S leading Beatles tribute band has split up after an encounter with Japan's foremost Yoko Ono impersonator.

Frozen 2 only way to stop Frozen

DISNEY has unveiled plans to stop children watching Frozen 24 hours a day by making Frozen 2.

No, Grim Reaper told

DEATH has been told it is not allowed to take Sir Terry Pratchett until an investigation is held.

Fantasy novel not part of a trilogy

THE fantasy-reading community has been left confused by a tale of noble houses, war and dragons that concludes in one volume.

Original ‘hat bellend’ to sue Pharrell

JAY Kay from Jamiroquai is to sue Pharrell for copying his ‘overconfident bellend in a massive hat’ brand.

Self-portraits ‘fuelling narcissism’

SELF-PORTRAITS by artists including Rembrandt and Van Gogh are to be banned from the National Gallery for encouraging mindless vanity.

This Morning reluctantly scraps guide to auto-erotic asphyxiation

PHILLIP Schofield has confirmed that This Morning has shelved a segment on increasing sexual excitement by restricting the flow of oxygen to the brain.