Arts & Entertainment
SIMON Cowell has removed X Factor winner Joe McElderry's skin and stitched Olly Murs into it to create a perfect hybrid of looks and likeability.
FORMER Echo and The Bunnymen drum machine DR670 has announced its plans to release a solo album.
NEW BBC editorial guidelines state that all jokes must be cleared by Jethro, Cornwall's leading comedy exponent and pasty enthusiast.
AFTER failing to capture the West's attention by blowing things up, Iraq's insurgents have launched a boy band in a bid to boost their profile.
THE manager of a Swindon table dancing club last night offered members of the public the chance to express themselves on a plinth, especially if they have big tits.