Arts & Entertainment

Britain not cleverer than Simon Cowell

MILLIONS of X Factor conspiracy theorists have convinced themselves they are cleverer than Simon Cowell, thus proving the opposite.

Anger as Thatcher depicted without her fangs

A CAMPAIGN has been launched to boycott the new Margaret Thatcher biopic after producers omitted the former prime minister's trademark fangs.

Panto season 'to be least enjoyable yet'

THIS year's pantomimes will somehow have even less entertainment value than previous offerings, producers have promised.

Resurrected Who drummer tells everyone to calm down

KEITH Moon has hurtled out of the grave driving a Panzer tank to ask what this Frankie Cocozza nonsense is about, it emerged last night.

Human rights groups rally to stop newsreaders' Children in Need sketch

CAMPAIGNERS are working desperately to stop BBC News broadcasters performing a Strictly skit in this year’s upcoming Children In Need show.

New Bond film to involve large amounts of paperwork

THE latest James Bond film will feature unprecedented levels of admin, according to its makers.

Cowell pins hopes on X Factor human centipede

SIMON Cowell hopes to revive the embattled X Factor by stitching the contestants together into a 'single entertainment organism'

Shakespeare was an alien, says Emmerich

ROLAND Emmerich says his new film will prove that William Shakespeare was a 300-foot alien.