Arts & Entertainment

Theatre groups to remind Britain why they are the first things to be cut

THEATRE groups across Britain will unite this weekend to remind taxpayers exactly why they are being cut.

BBC tells D:Ream keyboard player to shove it

PRODUCERS of Professor Brian Cox's Blimey! Planets, Eh? have told him to keep his opinions on music to himself.

Hackman to star in Midsomer Burning

GENE Hackman is to reprise his role as a tough FBI man in the upcoming racist drama Midsomer Burning.  

New Tomb Raider delayed by glitch in sequel generating machine

THE latest Tomb Raider instalment has been delayed by technical problems with SEQUL8TOR, Hollywood's giant sequel-making computer.

Sheen to judge Crackhead Idol

WAYWARD heart throb Charlie Sheen will head the judging panel on ITV's Crackhead Idol, in which ordinary drug addicts compete for a $1m Twitter rant deal.

Masterchef viewers divided over Greg Wallace copulating with food

VIEWERS are divided over the new Masterchef format, in which judge Greg Wallace assesses each dish after having sexual intercourse with it.

Skinheads switch to haute couture

SKINHEADS are ditching Fred Perry shirts, bomber jackets and heavy boots in favour of the daring but elegant lines of Parisian haute couture.

Take That riot police 'just a bunch of dancers'

BRITAIN was heavy with disappointment last night as it emerged that Take That's riot police are just a group of non-violent dancers.