Arts & Entertainment

Stone Roses confirm gig cancellations

MANCHESTER t-shirt vendors The Stone Roses are to reform for a new series of concerts they won't turn up to.


Games company unveils Passive Aggressive Birds

GAMES developer Rovio Mobile has announced the latest, more subtle, addition to its hugely popular Angry Birds franchise.

BBC2 replaced by squirrel with huge genitals

THE BBC is to replace much of its programming with footage of a strikingly well-endowed squirrel, it has been announced.

Man buys Pink Floyd box set, puts it on shelf, feels sad

A MIDDLE-AGED man is feeling oddly downhearted after buying an expensive limited edition box set of music by the favourite band of his youth.

Thousands of bulls audition for last fight

THOUSANDS of bulls have queued outside Barcelona's 'La Monumental' stadium hoping to be selected for the city's final bullfight.

Satan launches Moshi Familiars website

THE devil has set up a new website hoping to lure vulnerable six to 12 year-olds into the world of imp ownership.

U2 still refusing to take the hint

U2 are still sitting around the kitchen table, drinking tepid white wine and pretending they don't know that it's almost three o'clock in the morning.

Sky to launch depressing court TV channel

SATELLITE viewers will be able to watch the heartbreakingly banal minutiae of the court system under new laws.