Arts & Entertainment

Website praised for Take That ticket fraud

THOUSANDS of relieved men have expressed their gratitude after buying fraudulent Take That tickets.

Nobel laureates discuss the last time they puked

A PANEL of Nobel laureates including VS Naipaul and Mohammed ElBaradei have discussed their most recent vomiting experiences before an enraptured audience at the Hay Festival.

Adults order children to be sad about Daleks

CHILDREN across Britain were today told to be all sad about the Daleks.

Wire star's new crime series to use realistic West Country dialect

A NEW HBO-style cop drama starring Dominic West will introduce phrases like ''ow bist' and 'gert lush' to Guardian readers.

Apprentice viewers realise contestants have no identities

THE latest batch of hopefuls on The Apprentice are known even to themselves by generic names like 'The Blonde Woman', it emerged last night.

Von Trier forced to watch own films

LARS Von Trier has been forced to watch every film he has ever made before being allowed back into the Cannes film festival.

Eastenders not realistically horrific enough

LONG-running suicide note Eastenders fails to fully capture how revolting Cockneys are, the BBC have admitted.

Pop 'lesbians' to face bull dyke challenge

FEMALE recording artists who claim to have raunchy lesbian tendencies must spend a night locked in with a minotaur-like 'diesel dyke', it has been announced.