Arts & Entertainment
THE least cool half of The Beatles are reforming to play at the Grammy Awards in Los Angeles.
CULTURE is reaching a point of maximum dumbness, it has been claimed.
ALL classical music including Beethoven, Bach, and Mozart is to be reclassified as film music.
EVERYONE in Britain has become left wing because of the baddie in Sherlock.
RAPPER Pitbull has admitted he only ever performs the shittest bits of his records.
VIEWERS of Channel 5's Celebrity Big Brother have been scrubbing themselves all night but still feel dirty.
MILLIONS of people across Britain have set up cameras in their living rooms so they can film themselves watching themselves watching television.
NINTENDO'S forthcoming Mario Kart 8 is to include Martin Amis as an unlockable character.