Arts & Entertainment

Nintendo reveals Mario now has bullshit aspirational office job

NINTENDO has shocked fans by revealing that Mario is no longer a plumber but has some bullshit office job doing marketing.

Man listening to the Proclaimers unironically

A MAN has been listening to the Proclaimers for no reason other than that they made some great tunes.

The Mash guide to telling the celebrities from the dancers on Strictly

AS the new series of Strictly begins, the British public faces the same old problem – which of these people is supposedly famous?

Clown from 'It' available for children's parties for free

PENNYWISE the Dancing Clown from Stephen King’s It has announced his availability for childrens’ parties for nothing.

Hungover history teacher accidentally starts teaching Game of Thrones

A HUNGOVER history teacher accidentally started teaching scenes from Game of Thrones as real events, it has emerged.

Taylor Swift's new song 'just shit'

TAYLOR Swift's new song does not have deeper levels and is just a shit thing, it has been confirmed.

Pratchett steamroller 'should do Jeffrey Archer's hard drive next'

THE steamroller that crushed Terry Pratchett’s hard drive should also do Jeffrey Archer’s, it has been claimed.

Well done you corporate cake whores, says Mary Berry

MARY Berry has congratulated the hosts of Channel 4’s Great British Bake Off for betraying everything baking stands for.