Arts & Entertainment

Dermot O'Leary shown montage of his best moments then fed to beasts

FORMER X Factor host Dermot O’Leary was shown clips of his time on the show before being dropped into Simon Cowell’s carnivore pit.

Farage’s Purple Revolution intended as sequel to Color Purple

NIGEL Farage has revealed the original version of his new book was about African-American lesbians.

Paxman was doodling sketches of what he would do to Cameron and Miliband

JEREMY Paxman drew dozens of crude sketches of what he would do to David Cameron and Ed Miliband during last night’s TV interviews.

Builders distraught at Zayn leaving 1D

ZAYN Malik’s core fanbase of men working in the building trade is today in shock.

BBC confident it can find a new prick

THE BBC has confirmed that Top Gear will continue without Jeremy Clarkson as Britain is awash with boorish oafs.

Corden steps effortlessly into self-congratulating wankfest

JAMES Corden has enjoyed a smooth start to his new career helping film stars masturbate on live television.

Small town rock band definitely coolest thing to ever happen to small town

ROCK band, Saxwulf, are the coolest thing to ever happen to their hometown and anyone who says different is full of shit.

Kim and Kanye demand everyone at Glastonbury smells nice

KANYE West will perform at Glastonbury as long as the audience does not offend his wife’s sense of smell.