Arts & Entertainment

BBC pins hopes on soup

THE BBC has unveiled plans for a programme where people make soup in a tent.

World’s lowest-paid DJ revealed

A 33-YEAR-OLD man has been revealed as the world’s lowest-paid DJ.

Seven-year-old can tell X Factor is shit

THE X FACTOR is obviously just a lot of shit, a seven-year-old child has confirmed.

Cradle of Filth endorse Owen Smith

GOTH metal band Cradle of Filth have confirmed their support for Owen Smith as the next leader of the Labour party.

Nan seduced by fake camaraderie of Strictly

AN 84-YEAR-OLD grandmother thinks everyone on Strictly Come Dancing actually likes each other.

Poldark to gain weight and realise he is gay

THE BBC drama Poldark is to become even more gripping as the main character gains four stone and struggles with his sexuality.

Channel 4 sex programmes are great, claims dark creature that lives inside the soul of man

THE eternal blackness that festers in the soul of mankind has declared that Channel 4's 'sex shows' are great.

‘Bake Off' tension peaks as contestants given 10 minutes to finish baking their cakes

TENSION on The Great British Bake Off reached harrowing new heights last night when the contestants were told they had only 10 minutes to finish baking their cakes.