Arts & Entertainment

Theme parks contain no actual dinosaurs or pirates

BRITAIN'S theme parks do not have a single real dinosaur or pirate, it has emerged.

The King's Speech to be remade with Lego

FOLLOWING the success of The Lego Movie, acclaimed films are to be remade with Lego men instead of actors.

Nymphomaniac released with boring bits fast-forwarded

LAR Von Trier's new film will be released in a version that fast-forwards to the nudity.

Flappy Bird 'a metaphor for the pointlessness of existence'

THE creator of Flappy Bird has pulled the game after players failed to recognise it as a nihilistic art piece.

DJ gig an artistic disaster zone

A PERFORMANCE by superstar DJ Hardwell has been declared an artistic disaster.

Prince plays secret gig in length of rusty pipe

Music legend Prince has played an unannounced gig in an eight-foot length of discarded steel pipe on waste ground.

New Cure album aimed at hard people

THE Cure's new album is aimed at people with big necks who are good at fighting.

Hermione should have married Jackie Chan, says Rowling

JK ROWLING has admitted that Hermione Granger would have been much happier married to martial arts legend Jackie Chan.