Arts & Entertainment

F**k this shit I’m outta here, says Mary Berry

MARY Berry has quit The Great British Bake-Off because of all the bullshit going down.

Eastenders to show Ian Beale discovering old episodes of Eastenders on UK Gold

EASTENDERS is to surprise viewers with a storyline where Ian Beale watches old episodes of the show on UK Gold and questions the nature of reality.

It’s a shame for the kids, says everyone lapping up the juicy details

PEOPLE relishing the ‘Brangelina’ divorce have confirmed that it is indeed a shame for the kids.

Momentum Kids to get own Saturday morning TV show

LABOUR'S Momentum Kids are to get a TV show about their anti-capitalist adventures.

Woman still thinks Blair Witch Project is real

A WOMAN firmly believes The Blair Witch Project is a factual account of real events, it has emerged.

BBC pins hopes on soup

THE BBC has unveiled plans for a programme where people make soup in a tent.

World’s lowest-paid DJ revealed

A 33-YEAR-OLD man has been revealed as the world’s lowest-paid DJ.

Seven-year-old can tell X Factor is shit

THE X FACTOR is obviously just a lot of shit, a seven-year-old child has confirmed.