Arts & Entertainment

X Factor 'clearly still brimming with fresh ideas'

THE rise of Honey G has proved yet again that X Factor is a great show with lots of fresh and innovative ideas, viewers have agreed.

Theresa May thinks Kate Bush is shit

THERESA May has thanked Kate Bush for her kind words but regrets she cannot return them because Bush’s music is ‘hippy crap’.

Fabric ravers to go mental within strict council guidelines

RAVERS at Fabric nightclub are to go mental within strict local authority guidelines.

Man feeling betrayed by Carrie Fisher affair

A MAN is experiencing feelings of betrayal over Carrie Fisher’s affair with co-star Harrison Ford.

BBC newsreaders perform ‘Smack My Bitch Up’ for Children In Need

THE BBC newsreaders have reenacted controversial Prodigy video Smack My Bitch Up for the Children In Need appeal.

Men stay up all night to watch twat drive car

BRITAIN'S pathetically excited dads stayed up all night so they could watch Jeremy Clarkson drive a car.

Planet Earth II viewers demand legal system for animals

PLANET Earth II viewers have demanded that animals get their own criminal justice system to stop them doing horrible things.

Entire crowd at gig is ticket-buying bots

A BIFFY Clyro gig in Glasgow is expected to be the first entirely attended by online ticket-buying bots.