Arts & Entertainment
TELEVISION is now just a parade of muscular posh men striding manfully out of lakes, it has been confirmed.
AN ADELE concert is absolutely the worst environment in which to take mind-altering drugs, it has been confirmed.
CRIMINALS aged over 30 will be sentenced to attend this year’s V Festival, it has been confirmed.
BBC FOUR is to become a series of talks with slides in a local library, it has been confirmed.
QUIZ show Pointless is now providing a more effective adult education service than any UK college or university.
GRAMMY Awards organisers have apologised for sound issues that were caused by the music not being very good.
ACTOR Daniel Craig will stay on as James Bond if the fictional spy is made more self-important, he has announced.
CHILDREN’S books are written specifically to make the adults reading them aloud sound like idiots, it has emerged.