Panto audience asked to believe in Brexit to save Tinkerbell

THE audience at a production of Peter Pan have been told they must believe in Brexit if Tinkerbell is to live. 

Peter Pan, played by Hannah Spearritt of S-Club 7, exhorted the 1,000-strong audience to believe in Brexit as hard as they could or poor Tink could slip away. 

She continued: “Come on, she needs you! Believe that we will be financially better off by making independent free trade deals with the Commonwealth!

“In the stalls, believe in the 400,000 jobs that will be created by leaving the customs union! Up there on the balcony, I need you to believe in taking back control of our borders!

“Please! Believe that Britain can be great again, or I’ll lose my best friend in all the world!” 

Following the speech Tinkerbell revived and fluttered around the auditorium throwing handfuls of cheap, nasty sweets to the audience as a reward, not as a metaphor.