Public school twat making crap gangster film

21-10-17

A FORMER public schoolboy is making a terrible East End gangster movie, he has announced.

Ex-Wellington College pupil Nathan Muir has somehow raised the funds to film 88 minutes of self-penned drivel entitled Dangerous Geezers.

Muir, 25, said: “Geezers is a gritty heist caper about lovable small-time crook Billy Sparrow who gets caught up in a bungled attempt to steal the world’s largest diamond.

“It’s full of brilliant characters like Danny ‘Two Machine Guns’ and Rastus Kingston, the permanently stoned Brixton weed dealer. I also cast my friend Portia as a crack prostitute because she is smoking hot.

“I don’t have any personal knowledge of the underworld but I did my research thoroughly by watching a huge stack of DVDs like Essex Shotgun Bastards.

“Like many films of this genre, I’ve opted to mix violence with comedy. There’s a hilarious scene where the cockney pensioners turn out to be old school gangsters and shoot someone’s head off.

“It is, as they are beloved of saying in the East End, ‘the bollocks’.”

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