Queen psyched about Jubilee Truck Jam

THE world’s leading modified vehicles, including Bigfoot and Jurassic Attack, will perform at Buckingham Palace’s Jubilee Truck Jam on June 4.

Insane by Royal Appointment

Truck enthusiast the Queen will enjoy a car crush, tractor pull and freestyle stunts at the diamond jubilee event, which will end with a hog roast and a party in a marquee with 80s stadium-metal tribute acts.

The Queen said: “I am pretty fuckin’ psyched about this. Come on, the world’s top trucks right in your front yard, what’s not to love?

“Highlight will probably be Swamp Thing facing off against Equaliser on the obstacle course. Pretty sweet.

“I think maybe the raddest bit will be meeting the drivers, hopefully they can hang out after the show. I guess they kind of have to, otherwise I could get them executed medieval style.”

The Queen has also invited Ice Road Truckers star Lisa Kelly to sit next to her during the performance, alongside the monarch’s loyal corgis Ranger and Freebird.

She said: “I admire Lisa, she’s a really sassy operator. And she seems really straight up, just on the level. We’re both women in men’s worlds, taking men’s bullshit, y’know?

“We’ll have a good time, for sure.”

A nationwide radio advertising campaign for the event has been launched, telling listeners this is ‘An event not to be missed’ then listing all the attractions very quickly before signing off with a revving sound and advice to ‘Be there!!!’.

The Queen said: “This thing is looking real nice now we canned that Gary Barlow nonsense.

“When he turned up I was like, who the fuck is this guy. Take That? He’ll take my royal foot in his ass if he’s not careful.

“Same goes for Katherine Jenkins. That girl’s got one serious rack but the music sucks big time.”