Resident Evil 7 set in Michael Gove’s house


THE new Resident Evil game is a nerve-jangling journey into the terrifying world of Michael Gove, it has emerged.

The latest instalment of the survival horror game allows players to explore a large house owned by the creepy ‘Mr Gove’ and inhabited by horrible creatures.

Gamer Tom Logan said: “The house is dark and covered in mould, with faded pictures of naval battles and sinister china dolls everywhere – exactly the sort of place you’d expect Gove to live in.

“The enemies are genuinely terrifying. I almost shat myself when a thing called ‘the Farage’ leapt out of the darkness at me, trying to bite me with its enormous maw full of smoker’s teeth.

“In the ‘home office’ area of the house you encounter ‘Mad Sarah’, an evil witch who sits at a typewriter bashing out articles about how Britain is going to the dogs because all its young women are alcoholic sluts.

“Finally you meet Gove himself. He’s clearly an evil spirit inside a ventriloquist’s doll, although the game doesn’t explicitly say that.

“Gove is a bastard to kill because he keeps stabbing you in the back and disappearing. It’s a really scary game.”

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