Take That Concerts Leave Fans Uncertain Whether Or Not They Were Sold Fake Tickets
THOUSANDS of thirtysomething females have been left wondering whether they just saw Take That in concert, or a bunch of singing plasterers.
Fans of the 90s boy band spent up to six months’ white wine money on tickets for the reunion stadium tour. But many are now uncertain whether they have been conned after the concerts failed to magically restore their youth.
Emma Bradford, 34, said: “I definitely remember Take That as being more amazing than the most amazing thing ever. Just the mention of their names was enough to make me frothy.
“But these guys looked like reasonably handsome tradesmen dressed up for dinner at Pizza Hut. And the music was definitely more towards the shit side of being amazing.
“Either this was a fake gig staged by impostors or I might have to consider whether nostalgia makes you a cretin.”
Mother-of-two Nikki Hollis said: “OMG, Take That are fab and the concert was awesome, they are so ace and lush!
“At least, that’s what I keep telling myself. Although on some level I think the whole thing only served to remind me how horrifying my life has become.
“Despite waving a banner saying ‘Robbie lick my nipples’, at no point in the evening did I quite banish thoughts of the big purple stain that’s appeared on the upstairs carpet, and whether it’s still worth putting salt on it.
“Could It Be Magic was good though. Well, quite good. It wasn’t awful.”
She added: “Shit, I think this might have triggered a female mid life crisis. Maybe I need to go on a 10 year yoga retreat and leave my husband for a lute-playing Argentinian park warden.”