ANN SUMMERS MOVES UPMARKET WITH CROTCHLESS EVENING GOWN

ANN Summers is moving upmarket with a new range aimed at the middle classes, including a stunning open-crotch evening gown.

The Vibrating Egg. By Tiffany

The ivory silk, floor-length dress is designed by Stella McCartney and features a heart-shaped hole in the front to provide easy access to a lady’s private area.

A version with a rear hole will be available later in the year for Scandinavians, Roman Catholics and public school girls.

Nikki Hollis, Ann Summers' marketing director, said: "This season everything is luxurious and at the same time filthy and obsessed with bum sex.

"We have crotchless riding breeches, a naughty saddle and some lovely open-crotch plus fours if you require intercourse during a round of golf.

"Luxury toys include a Luis Vuitton dildo, a vibrating egg from Tiffany of New York, and a luscious sex jelly flavoured with 32 year-old Macallan."

Hollis said the company was targeting the middle class after research showed more than half were still supressing their most deviant sexual appetites.

She added: "The working class have the morality of crazed chimpanzees and will do anything to anything.

"Meanwhile, the upper orders are rich, degenerate and obsessed with the anus, but most of them are happy to use fruit or an antique candelabra."