Bank Of England Told To Cheer The Fuck Up

14-08-08

THE Bank of England was last night told to give it a rest for a few weeks, or at least start things off with a joke.

Mr King is being urged to deliver his next major speech in his Foghorn Leghorn voice

After reading the Bank's latest assessment of the UK economy, experts said they would rather spend two hours locked in a room with Gail Porter.

Julian Cook, chief economist at Donnelly-McPartlin, said: "How's about this? Kick off with that joke about the guy who has a big orange for a head and then go into the stuff about how our houses are worth less than cat shit and we'll all be rummaging through the bins by Christmas.

"Then you can round things off with a Garfield cartoon or a Far Side one about dogs and cats."

Tom Logan, at Porter, Pinkney and Turner, said: "If Mervyn King is determined to publish this god-awful stuff every month, can he at least get Emo Phillips to read it out.

"If I am going to lose my job and my house and be forced into intravenous drug use, I'd prefer to hear about it in a weird, funny, up-and-down voice."

Bank governor Mervyn King is said to be open to a more cheerful method of delivering hellish economic news, with sources suggesting the next report will be turned into a song by Chas and Dave.

Meanwhile the BBC has promised to bring a lighter touch its economic news by starting off with Del Boy falling through the gap in the bar and then finishing with that bit where they unscrew the wrong chandelier.