Britain is our bitch, says Goldman Sachs

BRITAIN is Goldman Sach’s bitch and Goldman Sach’s bitch better have its money, it has been confirmed.

Don't make Lloyd Blankfein teach you no goddamn lesson, muthafucka

The investment bank said it did not want none of our smart-mouthed bullshit and we better pony up with the green or we be hurting real bad.

Looking so fine in its new coat, Goldman Sachs added: “Those muthafuckas at HMRC know who’s da shit.

“They don’t be disrespectin’ my balance sheet with all tax and shit. They see me in ma muthafuckin’ Mercedes all pimped and rockin’ and they know who da man is.

“They be all like ‘hey Goldman Sachs, you so fine, you tell me what you need brutha’. I like dat.

“An investment banking brutha like me has gots to have respect. I gots to show these muthafuckas how my shit goes down.

“So when I comes into the house and I say ‘hey Britain, take my fine new coat and fix me a sweet-ass muthafuckin’ pina colada’ you know Britain be all ‘yessir Mr Goldman Sachs sir, I’ll take your coat and fix your drink and then I’ll blow you real nice’. I like dat.”

A Treasury spokesman said: “You crazy? You won’t get me to say nuthin’ bad about Goldman Sachs. I ain’t no goddamn fool.”

Goldman Sachs added: “Damn right. They knows that if I gets angry I mights just up and move my sweet ass to Hong Kong. Get me some Asian bitches.”