the dailymash

Despite outrage at its £5m-a-day profits as families struggle to cope with soaring fuel bills, the company insisted it was all good.

In a statement to the London Stock Exchange it said: "How cool is this? It's going to be such a good summer."

The statement continued: "We're all heading to the beach for a few weeks. Soak up some rays, get our bronze on. What are you guys up to?

"If you get a chance you really must have lunch at the Palace Hotel in Capri.

"You get a fantastic view of the bay and the whole place is just swarming with honeys.

"And the shrimp is outstanding - have it with some ice cold Chablis. Then you can have a dip and spend the rest of the afternoon just chilling."

The statement added: "Yeah, we'll probably put the prices up again in the autumn. Suppose that would be kinda cool.

"Hey, where are you guys skiing this year?"