the dailymash

The plans were announced shortly after cleaners at a self-storage warehouse in Bridgewater found that one of its empty units contained a luminous 'fireman's pole' which descended straight into Hasselhoff's mind.

The portal has since been sold to the company behind Center Parcs, who plan to use 'the Hoff's' memories to help them create a tourist attraction spanning a wide range of Hoff experiences, from thrilling memories of Knight Rider to alcohol-fuelled public humiliation.

Cleaner Bill McKay, who found the portal, said: "When you enter Hoff's mind, it's like you become him. You're in a corridor with a row of doors labelled things like 'Baywatch', 'Knight Rider' and 'That Night You Woke Up Under A Blackjack Table Naked And Clutching A Jellyfish'.

"Choosing 'Baywatch', I found myself running along a beach, sucking my paunch in, thinking about how I was going to use some money from German album sales to buy a jacuzzi in the shape of a labia.

"Suddenly the beach morphed into an aeroplane toilet, where I was using a rolled-up copy of Maxim to fight one of Hoff's inner demons, which had taken the shape of a massive toad, while my pants were round my ankles."

He added: "Hoff's mind has a few dark corners and is perhaps not a family venue. Overall I'd give it seven out of 10."

A Center Parcs spokesman said: "Hoffland is going to be a Barry Island for the 21st century.

"Visitors can experience the whole gamut of Hasselhoff, from the excitement of being friends with a car, to pathos-packed moments with a boy called Hobey, to lying on the floor of a hotel room with no shirt on, wondering why you can't get a burger to go in your mouth."

He added: "We'll also have a 'Hoff-ee shop' and a boutique selling the type of stonewashed denim gear with fringing that looks so good on German middle-managers."