Fairytale Comes True As Skank Marries Cage Fighter
IT is every little girl's dream – to carve out a career as a fake-breasted professional skank and then marry her perfect cage fighter in a Las Vegas casino.
Last night Katie Price, the novelist and horsewoman, tied the fairytale knot of love with Alex Reid, the 183lb meatsack and star of the forthcoming art-house movie Killer Bitch.
The couple, who first met just seven months ago, have charmed the world with their old-fashioned, starry-eyed romance and highly-publicised bouts of alcohol-fuelled sexual intercourse.
Following the ceremony, described by one source as 'simple but vaguely sticky', Katie said: "He is my Adonis. He is my Romeo. He is my cowboy. He will throw a saddle on my back and ride me hard into the sunset."
She added: "This evening we shall embark on a glorious journey of unprotected fucking that we hope will result in many, many babies that I can dress up as miniature cage fighters and tiny horsewomen in push-up bras."
Daisy Archer, a seven year-old from Stevenage, said: "I hope I grow up to be just like Katie. She's so pretty and clever and she hasn't done as much topless as you probably think.
"Sure, in the early days there was a lot of wank-mag stuff for calendars and shit, but since then she's kept her top on and made most of her money from sitting in her big house, talking about herself. She's like a magical princess."
Daisy's mother Helen added: "I think the most romantic thing about Katie and Alex's love story is the way they were obviously unable to secure a magazine deal and so have incorporated that into a new PR strategy to eventually secure a magazine deal.
"Oh, would you look at me, I'm getting all emotional."