For f**k’s sake don’t solve the housing crisis, say selfish bastards

OWNERS of hugely overvalued houses are lobbying the government to make the housing crisis even worse.

After plans to stop developers hoarding land were announced, homeowners are pressuring their MPs to stop affordable housing being built so their houses are worth more and they are technically richer.

Retired teacher Roy Hobbs, from Hampshire, said: “I don’t even own a buy-to-let. I just like being technically a millionaire.

“Having a stupidly overvalued house makes me feel like a genius investor rather than a talentless nobody who got lucky buying at the right time.

“Once they start building new houses for these millennial fuckers my three-bedroom semi might drop from its current high of £1,650,000. Which might be good for the economy, but would make me sad.

Hobbs added: “I’ve written to my MP demanding he oppose anything which might help solve this crisis.”

“Luckily he’s a greedy, parasitic bastard with a massive property portfolio so he totally agrees with me.”