Gap Year Land opens near Tenby
A NEW theme park will offer juggling, weed smoking and infectious diseases to students unable to afford to take a year out.
Gap Year Land, just five minutes’ walk from Tenby train station in South West Wales, offers ‘the gap year experience in a day’.
Set in a vast temperature-controlled plexiglass dome, the attraction is themed around ‘Gapnadesh’, a fictional country in the developing world that is cheap, hot and spiritual.
Students can enjoy stilted conversations with culturally-stereotyped locals, smoke chillums with a dreadlocked fruitarian whose parents own Scotland and pick up a devastating intestinal parasite from the attraction’s own-brand ‘Infecto’ drinking water.
The park’s headline attraction is Very Dangerous Bus Journey, a breakneck ride along a near-vertical polystyrene mountain track in an overcrowded vintage bus driven by a man who has not slept since 1997 and appears to be muttering a prayer.
A spokesman said: “Gap Year Land offers a life-changing experience for young people who can’t afford a lengthy foreign trip but still want to experience illness, sexual opportunism and a vague sense of being a good person in a hot climate.
“It’s also great for recently-divorced middle-aged women who’re having a ‘yoga episode’, tie-dyed Israelis who’ve just completed national service, and creepy amateur drug dealers.
“You certainly wouldn’t get to try your hand haggling over a 12p rickshaw fare at Thorpe Park.”
Gap Year Land visitors exchange their money for near-worthless Local Money, huge wads of which can be brandished insensitively at the ‘locals’ – actors who are being paid an authentic 4p a fortnight – when buying beads.
However Tom Logan, publisher of Rugged Universe travel guides, has criticised the venture: “This is a grotesque and ersatz experience based on crass stereotypes. The only way to really empathise with the the developing world is to flit through it on a 12-month holiday.”