Gap Year Land opens near Tenby

24-08-11

A NEW theme park will offer juggling, weed smoking and infectious diseases to students unable to afford to take a year out.

Spend 20 unforgettable minutes fretting about this hovel

Gap Year Land, just five minutes’ walk from Tenby train station in South West Wales, offers ‘the gap year experience in a day’.

Set in a vast temperature-controlled plexiglass dome, the attraction is themed around ‘Gapnadesh’, a fictional country in the developing world that is cheap, hot and spiritual.

Students can enjoy stilted conversations with culturally-stereotyped locals, smoke chillums with a dreadlocked fruitarian whose parents own Scotland and pick up a devastating intestinal parasite from the attraction’s own-brand ‘Infecto’ drinking water.

The park’s headline attraction is Very Dangerous Bus Journey, a breakneck ride along a near-vertical polystyrene mountain track in an overcrowded vintage bus driven by a man who has not slept since 1997 and appears to be muttering a prayer.

A spokesman said: “Gap Year Land offers a life-changing experience for young people who can’t afford a lengthy foreign trip but still want to experience illness, sexual opportunism and a vague sense of being a good person in a hot climate.

“It’s also great for recently-divorced middle-aged women who’re having a ‘yoga episode’, tie-dyed Israelis who’ve just completed national service, and creepy amateur drug dealers.

“You certainly wouldn’t get to try your hand haggling over a 12p rickshaw fare at Thorpe Park.”

Gap Year Land visitors exchange their money for near-worthless Local Money, huge wads of which can be brandished insensitively at the dark-skinned ‘locals’ – actors who are being paid an authentic 4p a fortnight – when buying beads.

However Tom Logan, publisher of Rugged Universe travel guides, has criticised the venture: “This is a grotesque and ersatz experience based on crass stereotypes. The only way to really empathise with the the developing world is to flit through it on a 12-month holiday.”

 

 

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