Kebab Smell Really Is Corpses
THE corpse-like odour that emanates from kebab shops was last night revealed to be corpses.
According to a new nationwide study, most corpses are stuffed under the counter or dressed up to look like a salad bar.
Roy Hobbs, a health and safety officer from Coventry, said: "I inspected a kebab shop last month and as I entered I said 'good afternoon' to the three gentleman who were sitting quietly just inside the door.
"They didn't reply, but I assumed they had simply been struck dumb by the overwhelming stench.
"When I returned for my follow-up inspection 10 days later the same three men were sitting in the same place. Again I said 'hello', only to be greeted with silence.
"I have to admit that this time I was a little offended, but it was only when I got back to my desk that I thought, 'hang on, those fuckers are dead'."
Hobbs said that while decaying corpses were a problem he reassured the public that the large lump of reconstituted meat on the revolving pole was probably not human remains.
He added: "I hope I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure it's a donkey."
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