Mclaren Launch Supercar For The Arse On A Budget
FORMULA 1 manufacturer Mclaren has unveiled a budget supercar targeted at the insecure arse with only £150,000 to waste.
The MP4-12C can reach speeds of 200mph, or 12mph in a typical arse-filled suburb, and will go on sale to arses across the country early next year.
Motor industry analyst Bill McKay said: "It's got a carbon fibre body, increased cornering downforce and lots more Clarkson-speak bullshit that will make the driver think he's Jensen Button rather than the pointless, derivative-trading arse that he actually is.
"It will be fitted with all manner of pointlessly shiny buttons that light up and a switch that says 'sport mode' that isn't connected to anything.
"Ironically, the type of carbon fibre used is called monocoque. You can probably see where I'm going with this."
He added: "It's called the MP4-12C because arses think a jumble of letters and numbers will somehow make it value for money."
Psychologist Martin Bishop said: "We see this a lot in science fiction – C3PO, T1000 etc. It's used as a substitute for imagination.
"And a quick reminder- if you see someone on a chat forum with the username 'THX1138' there's an excellent chance they'll be an arse, or at the very least, some sort of twat."
Production of the MP4-12C will begin in Woking later this year with McLaren confident the weak pound will help drive sales among foreign arses.
Julian Cook, chief economist at Donnelly-McPartlin, said: "It's arse-friendly products like this, the Dyson ZR50-Thing and Russell Hobbs' new XP472 High Definition Kettle that will drive the British economy somewhere meaningless for the next 10 years."