Business
Last-minute US deal prevents certain death of everybody in world
THE violent death of every human being was prevented last night after some American politicians agreed to get some more money.
BSkyB changes logo to middle finger
BSKYB is to change its corporate logo to a manicured hand flipping off the whole world.
Apple tells ugly people to stick with PCs
BOUTIQUE computer giant Apple will no longer be selling its machines to the ugly, it has been confirmed.
L'Oreal disappointed at ban on fraud
COSMETICS giant L'Oreal has admitted its disappointment at not being allowed to commit fraud.
Economy grows by 12% after Prince Andrew stops helping
THE UK economy has immediately grown by 12% after Prince Andrew agreed to leave it alone.
MPs 'may have been misled' by arse-covering lounge lizard
A PARLIAMENTARY committee may have been misled by an unctuous corporate
sleaze-ball who was there for the sole reason of covering his sorry
arse.
Postmen leaving increasingly passive-aggressive notes
ROYAL Mail 'while you were out' notes are developing a snide undercurrent, it has emerged.
Murdochs know far less about News International than you do
YOU know considerably more about News International than Rupert Murdoch and his son James, it has been confirmed.