Business

Weak GDP figures suggest something really bad may have happened a few years ago

THE latest set of GDP figures indicate the UK economy may have suffered some sort of cataclysmic event about five years ago.

Workers to be tested for traces of a soul

NEW technology will allow companies to check whether workers have traces of humanity in their system.

Apple HQ 'is giant ouija board'

THE Apple corporation's new HQ has been designed to channel messages from Steve Jobs.

Should anyone be allowed to work in the City?

A DAMNING report into former bank bosses has raised the question of whether anyone should be allowed to work in finance.

Tesco launches economy music range

BRITAIN'S leading supermarket is to manufacture a blandly efficient range of Tesco Value Music.

Tesco lays foundation for new level of hell

GIRAFFE restaurants attached to supermarkets promise a new era in soul-destruction, Tesco has claimed.