Business

Bank does bad maths thing

Public comprehends words 'dude' and 'Bollinger' in otherwise mysterious event.

Sentimental bread advert made by people on cocaine

A TOUCHING, big-hearted bread advert was made by a group of arrogant cocaine users, it has emerged.

World's first heterosexual lolly launched

ICE lolly manufacturers have responded to demand for a product that in no way resembles a cock.

Cameron brings back slavery

PRIME Minister David Cameron has announced business-friendly changes to UK employment laws including the reintroduction of slavery.

Easily-amused face communication crisis

THE collapse of Clinton Cards could leave the UK’s easily-amused community unable to express its banal thoughts, it has been claimed.

Old bastard attacked by useless shower of piss

A SNEAKY old bastard was last night attacked by people who have made a career in politics.

Myspace spots gap in market for old version of Facebook

FORGOTTEN social network Myspace is to stage a comeback by using the version of Facebook that everyone thought was absolutely fine.

Racist cake orders up 2,000 per cent

SPECIALITY bakers across the country are struggling to cope with a record demand for horribly racist cakes.