Business

'Crowd-funding' site connects dickheads with idiots

A NEW 'crowd-funding' website, wankerschemes.com, allows dickheads with stupid ideas to get money from idiots.

Remaining dregs of your pension fund to be set on fire

WHATEVER is still left of your pension fund is to be taken to a greenfield site on the edge of your town and burned.

Starbucks crowded out by ruthless independent tearooms

STARBUCKS is being crowded out of the UK market by the ruthless business practices of quirky local tearooms.

British Gas prays to God of Snow

BRITISH Gas has composed a prayer to Ullr, the Norse God of Snow.

Defence merger halted by time travelling robot

BAE Systems and EADS have decided to cancel their planned merger, after a robot from the future threatened to kill everyone involved.

Your boss 'doesn't see what the problem is'

YOUR boss does not understand why your are so angry about a simple plan to make it easier to fire you.

West Coast mainline contract still more efficient than trains

THE West Coast mainline contract fiasco is still working better than 98% of British trains.