BRITAIN’S supermarkets have revealed plans to stop concealing their utter loathing of the public.
APPLE has admitted its new iPhone will bend if you are determined to bend it.
BRITAIN is celebrating that special day when you only work the hours you are paid to work.
SIXTY per cent of Tesco stores are roofless wrecks inhabited by tribes of feral monkeys, auditors have found.
COMPANIES with unusually attractive staff are likely to be run by creepy people, it has been claimed.
INCONTINENCE specialist Tena has been vote the UK’s coolest brand.
SLAVES across the world are fully employed for the 4,600th year since records began.
RBS said it will definitely move to London after independence, but admitted that must be really scary for Alex Salmond.