RETAILER Tesco has confirmed that it is shutting more than one in every 10 million of its UK stores.
ALL loyalty card holders must show complete obedience, supermarkets have announced.
SENIOR tax officials have admitted that their sole agenda is to get self-employed people into prison cells.
A ROADSIDE Christmas tree seller has confidently predicted that business will go from strength to strength.
A CAFE specialising in cereal is the sort of maddening hipster idiocy you would be up to if they hadn’t come up with it first.
A JUNIOR accountant’s disciplinary proceedings were full of festive cheer because everyone involved was wearing a Christmas jumper.
MCDONALD’S has revealed that its nuggets contain locally-sourced boy.
PREMIER Foods has unveiled a new range of bastards who smell of fresh strawberries.
- Number of people on conference call somewhere between five and 130,000
- Rail companies one step closer to perfectly empty trains
- Shopping stampede expected for Unfunny Toilet Humour Joke Gift Monday
- Everything to be given to Richard Branson
- Energy companies getting advert ideas from shamanic drug sessions