SUPERMARKET giant Tesco is to scan faces as part of a plan to murder shoppers and replace them with clones.
ROYAL Bank of Scotland is not going to split after admitting the concept of a 'good bank' is too mental to contemplate.
BRITISH branches of Tesco throw away a fiver’s worth of alcohol every year, they have confirmed.
YAHOO'S radical new PR strategy involves making all its customers want to strangle it.
THE traditional 40-minute wait to collect a parcel will be unaffected by Royal Mail privatisation, it has been claimed.
THE forthcoming Twitter flotation is set to attract massive investment from the social network's thriving egg community.
LABOUR leader Ed Miliband has announced the first of his promised hikes in the price of gas and electricity.
THE makers of Blackberry have been bought by teens eager to keep their favourite hook-up network intact.